


Just a Date

by elirwen



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, pregnant!Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-13
Updated: 2012-05-13
Packaged: 2017-11-05 07:59:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/404117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elirwen/pseuds/elirwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a hard day at work, Arthur vents his frustration on Merlin. When he realizes his mistake, it's already too late and he has to face the consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a Date

**Author's Note:**

> warning: mpreg, mentions of miscarriage
> 
> Also, there IS a happy ending!
> 
> I'd like to thank lovePEOPLEandCOWBOY for translation into French: <https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10774130/1/Just-a-Date>

“They were going on and on about the same thing, like they hadn’t been listening to any of the stuff I’d said,” Arthur yelled, pacing back and forth in the living room of his flat. “And then after the meeting was over, father told me to practically redo the whole project.”

“It’s all very nice, Arthur, but it’s nothing new. Father has always been like this,” Morgana said, watching her brother from where she sat on the sofa. “You have a date tonight, don’t you? Wouldn’t it be better to just calm down and get ready?”

“Calm down? Why should I calm down? I know my solution is much better than what those idiots demanded. He should trust me more than them,” Arthur continued yelling.

Morgana rose from her seat and went straight to him, placing one hand on his forehead, the other using to push him in the direction of the sofa, surprising Arthur completely. He could have sworn he heard her saying something under her breath, but couldn’t make out the words.

After the moment of shock subsided, he pushed her away.

“What are you doing here anyway? You’ve always been father’s good little girl who could do nothing wrong. You have no idea what it’s like to keep up with his expectations,” Arthur yelled.

“You’re such a jerk,” Morgana said and turned around to leave. “I just wanted to help, but I don’t need to listen to your insults.”

She left the flat, door banging loudly as she swung them shut with more force than necessary.

~x~

Arthur was still fuming and pacing around the living room about ten minutes later when Merlin arrived. He tripped over the edge of the rug, but even that didn’t lift Arthur’s mood.

“Something wrong?” Merlin asked with obvious concern.

“Nah, I’m just walking here in circles because I like it,” Arthur shot back and Merlin took a few steps back at the force of anger directed at him.

“So, what happened?” Merlin asked.

“Because of some stupid idiots, I have to start over with the whole project, even when they’re so obviously wrong,” Arthur growled.

Merlin stepped closer and took one of Arthur’s hands in his.

“It’ll all work out in the end. You just need a break,” Merlin said.

“Like I have time for that,” Arthur said. “I need to have the second version ready in three days. I’ll have to start working on it tonight if I want to make it.”

“But we’re supposed to go out, have dinner, spend some time together,” Merlin said, hurt.

“It’ll have to wait,” Arthur said, pulling his hand away from Merlin’s. “Father wouldn’t be pleased if I told him I missed my deadline because of just a date.”

“Just a date?” Merlin asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, we can get together whenever we like,” Arthur said.

“I haven’t seen you in two weeks because of this project. You promised me you’d make it up to me tonight and suddenly it’s _just a date_? And even if it was _just a date_ , we haven’t had one in months because you’re always busy working or too tired to do much more than order takeaway,” Merlin said, his voice not raising, but he was definitely angry.

“I can’t just slack off. Father would...”

“Father, father,... It’s always about your father. You need to live your own life,” Merlin yelled this time.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You never do. But relationships are all about compromises. You can’t just expect it’ll work without an effort on both sides.”

“Maybe it’d be best to stop trying then?” Arthur said. “I obviously don’t give you what you want from me.”

“Arthur...”

“Go! Find yourself someone better!”

“I didn’t mean...”

“Get out!” Arthur shouted, pointing at the door.

Merlin staggered out without another word, but it didn’t ease Arthur’s anger one bit.

~x~

It took four shots of whiskey and a lot of throwing things for him to realize what he had actually said earlier, and he started looking for his phone. He dialed Merlin’s number, waiting for him to pick up, but he never did.

So he dialed Lance instead.

“I messed up really bad and now Merlin won’t pick up the phone,” he blurted out the moment Lance answered the call.

“I’m sure it’s not as bad. You can’t avoid fights all the time,” Lance said.

“We were supposed to go on a date tonight, but I lost it because of problems at work and yelled at him to get someone else if he’s not okay with me and then threw him out of the flat.”

“Well,” Lance said and Arthur could imagine the shocked expression on his face. “You’re going to need more than flowers and a box of chocolates to fix this.”

“I know,” Arthur said, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Wait a moment,” Lance said and suddenly Arthur could hear only hushed talking, but he couldn’t make out the words.

“Merlin called,” Lance said, after a couple of unbearably long minutes. “He’s hurt and I don’t mean his feelings.”

“What? Where?” Arthur asked, his mind supplying him with images of bloodied Merlin lying somewhere on a street.

“He’s home, but he won’t tell us what’s wrong,” Lance said.

“Okay, I need to call for a cab. See you there,” Arthur said and ended the call, not waiting for a response.

~x~

Minutes of his drive towards Merlin’s flat felt like infinity and he thought he would lose his mind every time they stopped at the red lights. As soon as they were in front of the right building, Arthur thrust couple of notes at the driver, much more than was necessary, and took off for the door. He run the three flights of stairs without a single stop and almost failed unlocking Merlin’s flat with his hands shaking so much. 

“Merlin!” he called once he was inside, but didn’t get an answer. He took a quick look into living room and kitchen. Not finding him there, he went straight to Merlin’s bedroom.

Merlin was lying on top of the covers, curled on his side with his arms wound around his middle. He was making small pained noises, each one of them feeling as a stab into Arthur’s own guts.

“Merlin, please, tell me what hurts,” Arthur said, crouching by the bed, caressing Merlin’s cheek.

Merlin opened his eyes and Arthur almost wished he hadn’t when he saw the fear in them.

“I’m pregnant,” Merlin said and a cold wave of nausea washed over Arthur.

He almost didn’t hear Merlin’s next words.

“I’ve already lost you, I can’t lose the baby too,” Merlin said, hot tears dropping from his face and soaking into the covers.

“No, I’m still here. I should have never said those things to you. I was angry and stupid,” Arthur said and pressed a kiss to Merlin’s forehead.

Gwen’s voice sounded from outside the room.

“Can I tell them?” Arthur asked, helping Merlin sit, terrified by his compliance. 

Merlin’s nod was small, but sure.

“We’re here,” Arthur called and a moment later, Gwen and Lance were entering the room. “He’s pregnant,” Arthur said before they could ask.

“Oh god,” Gwen gasped and hurried to the bed. “How long,” she asked, but Merlin only buried his face into Arthur’s chest, hands clutched in Arthur’s shirt.

Arthur gathered him into his arms and pressed another kiss to the top of his head. 

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered and proceeded to carry Merlin out of the flat.

Gwen stayed behind to turn off the lights and lock the door while Lancelot ran ahead to start the engine. 

All the way to the car, Arthur kept murmuring calming words to Merlin, hoping his own anxiety wasn’t showing.

~x~

Even when Arthur wanted to ask Merlin a hundred questions, one look at Merlin’s tearstained face and his trembling form stopped him from doing so. His brain was slowly catching up with the events of last few minutes and his mind was full of only one thing. Merlin was carrying his child.

If it wasn’t for his need to comfort Merlin in every way possible, Arthur would be screaming in frustration, hating each fiber of his own being for possibly ruining everything just because of his temper.

~x~

Gaius was already waiting for them when they burst into the emergency. He asked Gwen and Lance to wait there, and lead Arthur towards one of the examination rooms. Perks of having a head of surgery for a godfather.

He laid Merlin onto the bed and made to step away to let the professionals do their job, but Merlin gripped his hand tight and didn’t let him.

“I sent for our obstetrician to take a look at you,” Gaius said. “He’s one of the best in the country.”

~x~

Merlin was tense and quiet as the specialist scanned his abdomen with ultrasound.

“I’m sorry,” the man said after he was done. “There’s nothing we can do.”

Merlin put his free hand over his belly instinctively, his mouth forming a word ‘no’ over and over. Arthur climbed on the bed, pulling Merlin into a hug. There was no time for his own weakness, all that mattered at the moment was Merlin.

Arthur wasn’t sure when the doctor left or if anyone entered afterwards. He just continued rocking Merlin until he fell into exhausted sleep in his arms. He laid him down on the bed and found Gaius watching him from where he sat on the chair.

“Go get yourself a cup of coffee,” he said. “I can look over him for a while.”

Arthur nodded and left even if he wasn’t too keen to leave Merlin’s side.

Once he was outside of the room, the reality of what had happened came crashing down on him. He braced himself on a wall, breathing quickening, and felt his knees go weak.

‘I killed our baby,’ was his last thought before all went black.

~x~

Arthur woke up with a start, expecting the hard floor of hospital hallway, but found himself on the sofa in his flat instead. His heart was racing, not understanding how he got there. And where was Merlin? 

He pulled his phone from his pocket, staring at the time. It was saying 18:15. It had been almost midnight when they’d driven Merlin to the hospital. Arthur’s stomach turned at the thought of leaving Merlin to deal with the loss alone.

But then he noticed the date. Friday 20th April.

Arthur stared at the phone, trying to understand what was going on. He sank back to the sofa. If the time was right, it’d mean he had to fall asleep sometime after returning from work and then got trapped in the horrible nightmare. Only, he had no idea when he could have fallen asleep. But still it was such a great relief.

He could hear someone entering the flat and a moment later Merlin came into the room. He was wearing exactly the same clothes as Arthur remembered from his dream, and then he tripped over the edge of the rug.

He took one look at Arthur and asked, “something wrong?”

Relief was replaced by an overwhelming sense of deja vú and fear greater than Arthur had ever felt before. He rolled off the couch, stumbling over his own feet in his haste to get to Merlin. The kiss that followed was desperate and shaky, Arthur’s hands roaming over Merlin’s body, his touches light and careful as if Merlin was made of glass.

“Arthur?” Merlin said, stopping Arthur’s frantic movements by capturing his wrists. “What’s wrong?”

Arthur, unable to speak, led his hand down Merlin’s body to settle it on top of his belly where he supposed the baby would be growing.

“How do you know?” Merlin whispered, eyes wide with surprise.

The last bit of hope that the nightmare was really just a nightmare vanished into thin air, making Arthur’s head spin.

“Oh god,” he whispered, falling to his knees, pressing his face to Merlin’s belly. “I could have... our child... oh god...”

He didn’t realize he was hyperventilating until black dots entered his vision and Merlin’s voice cut through the hum of panic, telling him to calm down and breathe with him.

And so he did. Merlin was looking at him with such concern in his eyes it made Arthur slip back into the pit of shame for what he had done to Merlin in his dream, even if Merlin was unharmed and right in front of him.

Eventually, Merlin managed to get them to the sofa with Arthur lying down with his head in Merlin’s lap and Merlin’s fingers gently carding through Arthur’s hair. It made even the last of the tremors to subside.

“I wanted to tell you over the dinner,” Merlin said quietly. “You know how you always made fun of me drinking orange juice with my meal instead of wine. You’d say that I’m acting like I was pregnant. And I’d say just ‘well’, instead of my usual retort and let you work it out.”

Arthur chuckled at the image.

“I guess it’s good I couldn’t go through with it. It’s quite a lot to take in and a busy restaurant wouldn’t be the best of places,” Merlin said.

Arthur could hear Merlin was trying to be casual about it, but in fact he must have been confused by Arthur’s reaction.

“How did you know?” Merlin asked eventually.

“It’s weird,” Arthur said, covering Merlin’s hand that was lying on his chest with his own. 

He told Merlin all about the nightmare, unable to meet Merlin’s eyes.

“It didn’t happen,” Merlin said quietly when Arthur had finished, wiping the tears from Arthur’s face. “It won’t happen,” he added resolutely.

“I ruined our date, haven’t I?” Arthur said after a while.

Merlin huffed out a laugh.

“I haven’t seen you for two weeks. I don’t really care we didn’t go out,” Merlin said. 

“We still could,” Arthur said, sitting up, looking at his rumpled shirt and trousers. “I’ll just...”

“You’ll order us some takeaway,” Merlin said and Arthur flinched at the words.

“You deserve better,” Arthur said, head full of Merlin’s dream self’s accusations, and made to stand up from the couch.

“Arthur?” Merlin asked, wrapping his fingers around Arthur’s wrist.

“I was taking you for granted. No more of that!” Arthur said and leaned down for a kiss.

“Good,” Merlin said, melting under Arthur’s loving touches. “But I’d really like that takeaway. Some greasy pizza with double load of cheese and lots and lots of olives.”

“I thought you weren’t a fan of olives,” Arthur said with a small smile on his lips.

“Well, I want them now. But only the green ones.”

~X~

“Merlin?” Arthur asked quietly.

Merlin only hummed, settling more comfortably into Arthur’s embrace. The half-full glass of orange juice he was holding tilted dangerously, so Arthur took it from him and set it on the ground.

They’d spend last hour feeding each other pizza and talking about what Merlin had been up to during the weeks of Arthur’s absence. Arthur’d seen the delight on Merlin’s face as he’d talked about ideas for his new book and then about the day he’d found out about the life blooming under his heart. Just starting the third month, Merlin had said and Arthur had murmured embarrassingly sweet promises into his ear.

Now, with Merlin resting against his chest, Arthur couldn’t resist moving his hand down Merlin’s body and slip it under his shirt. Of course baby wasn’t showing yet, it was too soon for that, but Arthur felt content caressing Merlin’s belly, imagining how it would feel in just a few months time.

After a while, Merlin turned in his arms and Arthur could feel the line of Merlin’s hard cock against his thigh. He rubbed his cheek over Arthur’s shirt, humming contentedly, reminding Arthur of an affectionate cat. The thought made Arthur chuckle.

“Two weeks, Arthur,” Merlin said, opening his eyes, and the clear desire in them stole Arthur’s breath away.

“Bed?” he asked and Merlin hummed his assent and pulled away from Arthur’s embrace. 

Arthur rolled off the couch and then picked Merlin up, Merlin wrapping his arms around Arthur’s neck and his legs around Arthur’s waist.

Once he had Merlin naked and splayed on his sheets, Arthur suddenly wasn’t sure what to do. All what mattered in his life was right there in front of him and Arthur’s hands started shaking when he thought about the responsibility, about how fragile Merlin looked.

“You won’t hurt us,” Merlin said and pulled Arthur down for a kiss. “The baby’s happy when I’m happy. So make me happy,” he added, leading Arthur’s hand down his body, and Arthur let out a shaky laugh.

“Only you,” Arthur whispered and kissed Merlin again.

**Author's Note:**

> also [on my journal](http://elirwen.livejournal.com/39607.html)


End file.
